Hello my name is Courtney and I am a Recovering Alcoholic. I have been sober now for 4 years and 5 months. I LOVED alcohol. Alcohol and I were best friends for over a decade. My vicious cycle of addiction was spent for over ten years feeling ashamed, embarrassed, lonely, isolated and scared. I kept hanging on in this world, even though for so many years, I didn’t feel like I deserved any good.
Most days were spent drinking, thinking about drinking or dry heaving after a night of drinking. I wasted days laying around in bed until I had finally stopped throwing up all the alcohol from the night before. It was nighttime by the time I could get out of bed to order a pizza. This cycle happened weekly.
I often could not remember what happened the night before and I had no clue how I got home.
Every time I would dry heave, I would say to myself, “This will be the last time I take shots or drank like that again.” I told myself LIES! I often could not remember what happened the night before and I had no clue how I got home. Most of the time, while drinking, I upset one of my friends, boyfriends or family members. I would yell at them, pick fights and get violent like a real pig.
The ironic thing is that since I was about 24 years old, I knew I would have to stop drinking one day. In the pit of my soul I believe that all addicts know they have a problem of some sort. You can either choose to address the problem or ignore it because you don’t want to feel or face reality. There have been so many missed opportunities and relationships that I let fall down the drain because of my addiction. So much time was WASTED; moments I will never get back in my life.
I told myself that if Fiona (my cat) was found I would give up drinking and give life a sober chance.
When I was 29 years old, I woke up the next morning from a complete shit show of an evening. I was told I lost my cat (who was not an outside cat at all) for the second time. I left the screen door wide open after I went outside to smoke during the midst of a blackout. I was told by my boyfriend that he was over the drinking. At that point, we had been together for a year and a half. He had seen plenty in such a short amount of time. For the last couple of years my drinking episodes were getting worse and worse. In that moment I decided to make a pact with myself and the universe. I told myself that if Fiona (my cat) was found I would give up drinking and give life a sober chance.
I felt in my whole being and on another level that sobriety was my answer.
For two days I laid around from the worst hangover in my life. I felt like straight up death. Every few hours I went outside looking for Fiona. I shook her treats and called her name. After several attempts, her tiny footsteps finally came walking out slowly from under my neighbors deck. She looked terrified with leaves all over her fur. I dropped to my knees like a scene from a movie and scooped her up. I instantly starting crying. I felt in my whole being and on another level that sobriety was my answer.
My life began on August 18th, 2o12
My life began on August 18th, 2o12. My boyfriend, who said enough was enough, is now my husband. He even gave up drinking with me (he never had a problem but just got to a point in his life he could do without). Sober Life has not been easy. It consists of a lot of emotions full of ups and downs, but it’s all worth it.
I honestly wouldn’t change a thing of how my life has played out. My world is just simply better with friends, family, my husband, myself and everything else. I even have my own health and fitness business! I know deep in my heart and soul that if I would not have given up alcohol that I would of eventually died from it. I am currently looking forward to bringing more insight to the world about addiction, alcohol recovery and wellness.
Hello my name is Courtney and WE DO RECOVER, RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE!!!
Follow along with me and my recovery and wellness business at https://m.facebook.com/courtneyandersenhealthandwellness/