It’s day two of my silent yoga retreat, I am in my afternoon Tibetan Heart Yoga class and can’t seem to get out of my head. I keep waiting to feel enlightened or as my co-workers would say, to levitate. I have spent the past day or even month living in what felt like a cloud. Unable to focus and remain present has left me feeling anxious and frustrated. I am banking on this retreat to clear my vision and bring me back to the present moment.
This class feels like it is taking forever and I’m still anxious after the unexpected 2 hour long Vinyasa class that kicked my ass this morning. I decide to stay after class and meditate. After my meditation, I open my eyes and unaware there was anyone in the room, I notice there are three other students meditating with me. I smile and realize that I am in the present moment and what I keep waiting for to happen, is happening.
I get up and take my time walking to my room smiling and focusing on each step I take, being aware of my energy and what I am projecting into the world around me. It’s free time so I decide to read and journal about my experience here. I can’t help but become overwhelmed with love, compassion and being grateful for being here. I can finally see and I look around at every person in the room and wish for them to experience the same joy. This is the feeling I have been waiting for. It is not a foreign feeling, but it is the feeling that I strive and practice for. It is a feeling that can be felt every second and it all depends on myself. It is queting the mind and being fully present.
I often get caught up in the hustle of life, fall into the same path as others and forget my purpose and what I love most. I call it “losing myself”. When I am lost, I have found my cure to finding myself , it takes shutting off all outside influence, including tv, phones and communication and only being present with myself. In this moment is when I realize how far I’ve gone from myself and how important it is to continuously practice coming back to myself. To reconnect with my soul, remembering the person I want to be and who I want to be to others is what truly makes me happy. I remember how imporant my purpose is and what I want to accomplish in this short life. This silent yoga retreat has completely reset me on my path to enlightenment. In the end being enlightened is what I was waiting for, but realized the path is what is important.