Lately I’ve been realizing and aware of how each day is different. Each day brings a different intention, purpose and direction. One day I am completely focused and accomplishing goals and the next I lose motivation and drive. I get frustrated on those days, the days when I am just not in the mood to give myself and love. Those days seem like eternity and as if the rest of my life will remain in this heartless, confused, and unfocused funk. My hope and faith crumbles, giving into the darkness. It’s on those days when I lose control, panic and start clawing my way towards sanity, usually bringing those around me down with me, to take my place at the bottom. Usually a loved one or almost always my partner.
I’ve heard hundreds of times about being aware of hard times and letting the bad moments pass through you, but never understood or actually believed anyone. Ignoring my anxiety driven thoughts was a lot harder said than done. Enough became enough, I was tired of feeling like this, blaming others for my own responsibilities. I remembered all the tools that I had learned throughout my Yoga Lifestyles class, I returned to my practice. Meditation was my savior. I meditated on turning fear into love and gave into the silence. I turned my focus onto what makes me happy and feel fully alive. Be patient, non reactionary, let the day pass, and repeat the same the next day. Wake up every day with a fresh start, until you are able to open your heart again.
They say love is spirit, love is god, or love is your true self, joy, and happiness. To go through pain and realize that love is the only cure for pain, truly makes me a believer that love is the answer, love is peace. It’s important to be aware and understand and accept that not every day we are perfect, not every day will my boyfriend love me to his fullest, nor will I love him with my whole heart. Not every day will I have the energy, patience or capacity to give myself and be the person I strive for, knowing and accepting that is key. Knowing that tomorrow will be completely different or even each moment can be completely different. If it hurts, it will pass, be patient, breath when you want to react and let it pass. Refocus on your practice and you will make it out alive, without hurting anyone or bringing anyone else down with you.
